It brings me great joy to announce that as of today, there will be a new division of the Association of World Domination. Today Orange Division steps out into the light, so to speak. I have been asked, as the new leader of said division, to explain the change to you all.
Due to the recent outbreak of dissent, treachery, and general laziness of certain agents, it has been decided by the OverCouncil to create a branch of AWD dedicated to rooting out and destroying such problems before they can spread. I would like to take a moment to state on a more personal note: I take great pleasure in my work, for I feel it is important to enjoy what you do. That being the case, I would like to point out my various qualifications for this new position.
I have know the location of every nerve on the human body from head to toe. I know the exact voltage of lethal electricity (which happens to change depending on bodily location). I own many stain-proof suits. I have a knife collection that encompasses an entire wing of the newly constructed Orange Headquarters. The walls of my office are soundproof, and yet has very unassuming wallpaper.
Finally, I am very well suited for this job because of one simple thing: Nobody in this organization knows my face. As far as any of you are concerned, I am the man two desks over, the woman who cleans the floors, the lab assistant, the butcher, the baker, the balloon vendor... anyone.
That being said, nobody needs to worry. I highly doubt that our traitor problems will last very much longer. So rest easy, sleep tight and please enjoy your day.
Head of Orange Division,
OverLord Orange
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment