PROGRESS MADE REGARDING ST. HELENS!

You will all be glad to hear that our tireless work with specialized geomancers has finally opened up a stable magma chamber beneath the former AWD geological super weapon the Omega Cannon (Mt. St. H.). Luckily our efforts remain undetected, civilians calling it a "natural event".
As you may know we first took an interest in the creation of the Omega Cannon out of the remains of the former St. Helens in 1993. Noting the power of untamed nature our minds reeled at the possibility of such a force under our control. Since then Green division has been working tirelessly to harness the power through techno-mystic means.
So far the only outside entity aware of our current activities is the USPS (United States Postal Service), an independent branch of the US government. So far they have been trying their hardest to uproot us from the area, but to no avail. Our only worry is that they might try to expose us to a more threatening power, but thankfully they are on bad terms with their own people since the Harrington fiasco.
Wish us luck, and send your well wishes to Agent Green Skittles for his hard work, truly this man has enviable stamina. Nobody can fault his rigid dedication.

Vincere Causa Anima Et Lucri

HIDDEN MESSAGE SENT!

Using the handy decoding sheet we sent all of you grab this month's issue of Forgotten Recipes and flip to page 46. Skipping passed the enchanting article about Abraham Lincoln's famous Grilled Salmon Steaks, use the sheet to find your next assignment in paragraph three.
Keep up the work, preferably good.
Also, thanks to Agent Blue Tarnish for her work on the Gregory Initiative. We couldn't have done it without you!

Vincere Causa Anima Et Lucri

GLORIOUS RETURN FROM HIDING!

I understand your grief, fellow members of AWD, but worry no longer for I, Overlord Blue, am safe. You all must have been so worried when one of my more notable secret bases ceased all communication with the outside world. It must have kept you all up at night wondering what could have possibly happened to your beloved leader. Now that it is over, I have officially declassified the whole thing for your benefit.

The following are excerpts from my private journal:

Feb 18; my dream is soon to come to fruition. It has taken my underlings and I years to get this far. In a few short days I will attain my full potential.

Feb 23; palms burning, but is a good pain, worthy pain. Nobody can understand the full power of the device... the force it can deliver.

Feb 28; cannot take the strain for much longer, though it is needed. Been up for 36 hours, no food save what I can spare from the main supply. Need more time to discover it's secrets!

Mar 3; smell driving me mad... underlings anxious, understandable... nobody gets what I'm trying to do, they're fools! Do the simply not realize the full significance?

Mar 6; Tomorrow, I show them.

Mar 13; all I can remember is fire... plan for perfect carrot cake must be shelved for now. Deaths: innumerable Cost: incalculable. However, such is the price of progress. Sugar to flour ratio nearly perfected.


As you can see, I have been incredibly busy. Luckily Overlord Grey covered for me on the update. No doubt you've all been kept up to date on the day-to-day happenings of the organization- what?

It appears Overlord Gray has been falling down on the job. This, people, is why we have acid mines...

Vincere Causa Anima Et Lucri

Urgent Message, Priority Vermillion

Twelve-string guitars back in vogue.

Please leave your shoes at the door.

Urgent Message, Priority Mauve

The raven has left the icebox.

Chocolate sauce slightly too sweet. Spoon recommended.

PETA: Feel the sting of corruption

In an attempt to quiet further protests from PETA about the use of dolphins as undercover operatives, Agent Red Zenith and Myself infiltrated PETA headquarters so that we may assassinate the leading opponents of our objectives. We soon found out, however, that the PETA security system was slightly more robust than we were prepared to cope with. After disabling the laser turrets and anti-personel mines, we were making our way into the complex. Apparently there were hidden motion detectors that set off what I assume were dog whistles, for the moment we set foot past the outer wall, a pack of hidden dogs pounced upon us! Much to our suprise, the dogs could speak! They also had strange cybernetic enhancements on their eyes and bodies. WHAT WAS PETA DOING TO THESE ANIMALS!? The quick witted Red Zenith hurriedly issued a series of commanding barks to the vicious animals. They slowly backed down from us, and we were finally able to communicate with them. After about 20 minutes of quiet conversation, we were able to persuade the dogs to work for us if we set them free of PETA's oppressive clutches. We each gave the dogs a pack of tools to aid their infiltration deeper into the complex. About 10 minutes later, the central building in the complex violently exploded. We made our exit.

SECRET WAR DECLARED!

It is my solemn duty to inform all our agents and operatives that as of today AWD is declaring total war on the Society for Total Control (STC). As some of you may already know, this pretender organization also has world domination as it's goal, so it was inevitable that we would come into conflict.
However, this state of war was not planned by us to happen until June 7th 2009, when we were going to glue all the doors in their secret lair shut. Sadly, out current conflict is due to a surprise attack on my person just hours ago by one of their high ranking officers.
A certain "Prime Monarch" and I were discussing (over a pleasant meal) a temporary alliance against the Esoteric Order of International Overthrow (EOIO), when suddenly I noticed a hand that was not mine, picking through my French fries!
"Oh, were you going to eat those?" The swine asked me.
I informed him that I was fully aware of his scheme to poison my food and promptly upended the table, tossed a smoke bomb onto the floor and fled the room. You will all be glad to know that no traces of poison have been found in my system and my rule continues un-threatened.
All Agents of AWD are instructed to engage any STC operatives on sight. Since their talent for disguise is second only to our own, I will remind you that some tell-tale signs of membership in STC are Treachery, snotty attitudes and horrible haircuts.
I wish you all the best of luck against this new enemy. Be on the watch for members of EOIO as well. You can never tell what devious scheme those guys are up to.

Vincere Causa Anima Et Lucri

GENERAL ANNOUNCEMENT:

It has recently come to my attention that a pair of my shoes has gone missing.
I recall taking them off during our last Over-Council meeting because my feet were quite hot. However, I neglected to put them back on and left the meeting chamber. Now, upon return, I cannot seem to locate them.
If anyone has the slightest inkling as to where they could be found, please contact me privately. Although, if I find out that anyone has intentionally taken them, I will be forced to take swift and violent action. Practical jokes played on an Overperson are, as you all know, punishable by 10-12 days in the acid mines, or death (whichever the most convenient option may be at the time).

Vincere Causa Anima Et Lucri

OPERATIONS LOOKING WELL IN CALIFORNIA!

Early last week one of our most important plans started to bear fruit.
For those of you who received AWD 5YP #216 please recall point 627b: "To spread chaos and stir political unrest in California by use of Agents posing as Street Performers". It is my happy duty to inform you of our first successful strike!
However, it was not one of our numerous agents who struck the blow, but instead a lone madman. Frederick Evan Young, dressed as popular pilot figure Chewbacca, became violent with a Californian tour guide on Monday and headbutted him. You may ask how we can take credit for something our Agents did not do, and you would be right. However it was Agent Green Hourglass who secreted into Young's home the night before and slipped a very special chemical agent into the Performer's daily lunch of Sardine Mayonnaise sandwich and beer.
Chemical #2518 or "Angry Sauce", as some of you already know, cause the subject to become irritable and self-righteous. They will shout at passers by and touch them inappropriately.
Young is said to have shouted: "Nobody tells a Wookie what to do" which is exactly one of the things our test subjects are documented to have screamed at AWD scientists. Among other things: "Don't touch me, I'm Catholic!" "Stop fondling my sandwiches!" and "Overlady Green is PEOPLE!"
It is a happy coincidence that Young was appearing as Chewbacca that day, or we may have been discovered.
I would like to thank Operative Black Orange for this report.

Vincere Causa Anima et Lucri

WASHINGTON TO FEEL OUR PRESENCE!

I am happy to report the successful infiltration of military forces scheduled to be transferred to Washington State. Approx. 30 of our most trusted Dolphin allies have agreed to go deep undercover supposedly "working for" the United States Military to help find waterborne attacks.
Little does our good Uncle Sam realize that these Dolphins are actually there to subtly influence military politics! These agents will be working hard to indoctrinate new agents, and move up the ranks to positions of power.
Agents working within the subversive organization PETA have also tipped off their supposed superiors to this act of "Animal Cruelty". So long as the nation consideres Dolphin "inferior animals" then our plans are fool-proof.
I would like to personally acknowledge Agent Red Zenith for this report.

Vincere Causa Anima et Lucri