TEST SUBJECTS NEEDED POST HASTE!

Black Division has just updated me concerning their Reykjavik Initiative, which involves the development of the Eighth Sense. For those of you who need a reminder, the human body has around 12 senses that we have found.
You are all familiar with the first five (sight, hearing, touch, taste, smell). The sixth vastly differs between individuals; for example some can sense the undead, some can find lost keys, others can follow electrical current. I personally have a sixth sense for bad movies, I can tell a movie will be bad based solely on the opening credits. The Seventh sense is gravity.
But it is the Reykjavik Initiative that is attempting to heighten the common recruits' sense of the future, number 8. A number of techniques have already been developed, but some are still in the experimental stage.
This is where you, the AWD Operatives, come in.
OverLord Black has asked me to post a general bulletin seeking people to fill the following positions:

-Chemovoyant: Someone who is willing to drink unknown elixirs, and then guess what card Agent Black Fedora is holding.

-Inertiovoyant: Someone who feels comfortable sitting in a high powered centrifuge, then juggle four power crystals. After which guess what Agent Black Jumper is about to say.

-Electrovoyant: Someone who will be strapped to a large chair, and shocked repeatedly, then made to inhale an ancient magic powder. They must then be able to predict which side a piece of toast will land.

-Erotovoyant: Someone who is willing to look at various forms of pornography, and to perhaps participate in sexual intercourse. They must then predict the outcome of the next American Presidential Election.

If you have read any of those and thought "Hey, that sounds just like the sort of thing I could die happy doing", then please contact me, OverLord Blue, and I will pass on your application to OverLord Black.

Vincere Causa Anima Et Lucri

END OF WORLD DATE RESCHEDULED

After a week or so of deep solitude, I and the other Grand Oracles of Blue Division have come to the same conclusion: We were wrong about the world ending on July 10th 1997. It's been a while, I know, but we wanted to be sure of our error before reporting it. We are very thorough people if nothing else.
Thankfully, we have come to an alternative date for the end of the world: August 17th 2015. This is good news for us, because it allows us more time for our plans to come to fruition. Our new date of Total Conquest is sometime in April, 2010.
Everyone is going to have to step it up, just becasue we get an extra 18 years to get everything done (plant mutated crops, set up armies, imprisoning dissadents, freeing political prisoners, perfect cybernetic implants, etc.) dosent mean we dont have to work hard to get there.
One final word for those Yellow Agents working in Winston Sector: Keep an eye out for a large, reptillain lifeform. It has very large, sharp claws, can spit acid and move at around 80mph. It answers to the name Ronnie, and is probably just lonely and misunderstood.
If found (and subdued), please return to Blue Operatives in the area.

Vincere Causa Anima Et Lucri