SECRET WAR DECLARED!

It is my solemn duty to inform all our agents and operatives that as of today AWD is declaring total war on the Society for Total Control (STC). As some of you may already know, this pretender organization also has world domination as it's goal, so it was inevitable that we would come into conflict.
However, this state of war was not planned by us to happen until June 7th 2009, when we were going to glue all the doors in their secret lair shut. Sadly, out current conflict is due to a surprise attack on my person just hours ago by one of their high ranking officers.
A certain "Prime Monarch" and I were discussing (over a pleasant meal) a temporary alliance against the Esoteric Order of International Overthrow (EOIO), when suddenly I noticed a hand that was not mine, picking through my French fries!
"Oh, were you going to eat those?" The swine asked me.
I informed him that I was fully aware of his scheme to poison my food and promptly upended the table, tossed a smoke bomb onto the floor and fled the room. You will all be glad to know that no traces of poison have been found in my system and my rule continues un-threatened.
All Agents of AWD are instructed to engage any STC operatives on sight. Since their talent for disguise is second only to our own, I will remind you that some tell-tale signs of membership in STC are Treachery, snotty attitudes and horrible haircuts.
I wish you all the best of luck against this new enemy. Be on the watch for members of EOIO as well. You can never tell what devious scheme those guys are up to.

Vincere Causa Anima Et Lucri